Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
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But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
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My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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