I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize