just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize