but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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