So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize