Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize