I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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