Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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