I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
do herpes really smell.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize