Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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