My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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