things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
operation have a gay friend backfired
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This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
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I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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