woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
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