thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
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