That's intense
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Nicole vs. Life
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize