There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Help. Why am I so naked?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize