i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize