It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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