apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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