i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize