i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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