singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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