I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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