i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
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Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
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Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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