Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize