I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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