The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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