i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize