I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize