I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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