Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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