your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
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He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
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He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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