I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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