I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
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No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
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Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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