pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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