Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize