I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
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That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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