I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize