In America we eat man semen.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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