okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
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My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
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Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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