somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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