This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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