you have to choose: penises or morals?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize