i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize