there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
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is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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