Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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