I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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