You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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