bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize