I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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